In Space, “No One Can Hear You Hate”

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Someone once said it was THE final frontier… I say its the only frontier anyone actually cares about! Did you know that NASA as of the year 2020 has in its employ 17,373 individuals? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASA) I repeat “17,373” individuals, & yet our #spacerace is down to three brilliant billionaires! Three!!! These three men have done what 17 thousand plus individuals couldn’t get done and are vilified for it? (yes I know My hero Elon has yet to launch his ego maniacal ass into subspace YET) Maybe Elons focus on Mars has him preoccupied? Perhaps his recent 6th child plays a role in his last place finish to reach the glories of subspace travel? Whatever the reason it saves him from the onslaught of the ALL the crying, hand wringing, whining and sniveling that The KING of internet commerce has had to endure! For the love of all things Picard could people be any more petty? The memes, the snide comments, the faux #CheGuevara armchair financial analysts!!! ALL screaming as loud as their keyboards, & raggedy android/apple twitter loving phones will allow them to pontificate on ALL things they know nothing of for hours on end! Its beyond hilarious, to think that a guy who started in “HIS” garage way back in the 94(that’s 1994 for those of your keeping track)where he went from Washington (the state) to SUBSPACE in less than 30 yrs!!! Can a brother get a Congrats? Can a Brotha get a attaboy? Can a brother get a #Godspeed ??? NOOO instead he gets torn down before he is 1/2way up to his destination! Instead he catches ALL kinds of hell as if he shoulda been dropping cash outta that capsule from the minute he took off to the second he reached subspace! Did I get a kick outta the “Dr. Evil comparison memes? heck yeah! Did I take umbrage, with the “he should not be thanking his employees/consumers/friends and whoever else” tweets/Facebook vitriol? YES I did.

Bezos may be a lot of things God knows he is never gonna win “employer of the year” or Husband of the decade? He is however nothing short of a genius! Have you bothered to think what it must have been like to slave away in a garage trying to start a bookstore online? Oh sure you take it for granted now getting your groceries within a two hour window, ordering a floating shelf for your toddlers room delivered next day with NO S&H charges(that’s shipping & handling for those of you still shopping in actual brick & mortar stores?) I’m sure many of those screaming at the top of their entitled lungs cannot begin to fathom the COLD hard truth that BEZOS is in fact our generations equivalent of Vanderbilt/Rockefeller/Carnegies.

The unmitigated gall that has permeated some parts of society, that leads us down a path of what’s his should be OURS, is at best preposterous, at worst misguided. Income equality? Homelessness? World hunger? not a single one of these travesty’s could ever be solved with one man’s (woman’s?) wealth. Amazon is without a doubt capitalism and the fruits it bears are here to stay. Anyone who postulates that Jeff’s trip to Subspace, Deep space, or MySPace is somehow a waste of time & money NOT well spent is missing out on all things past present & future. Alas as we all know #hatrersgonnahate with apologies to #TaylorSwift & #OmarNoory

The Billion Dollar Question?

Kylie, Kylie Kylie. It seems everyone is up in arms over her success. The California kid who magically showed up around 1997 thanks to Bruce Jenner and his wife at the time Kris! She more or less grew up in front of us via Cable TV and eventually wound up home schooled for bit; but no cares about that! Lets fast forward to 2013 when she designed/created or somehow gave us some soon to be famous lipstick? Nail Poilish? sandpaper? who the hell knows ? Whats important is in the year of our Lord 2015 we found ourselves graced with: Her first scandal: “PlumperGate” or “Lipgate” soon to be followed by a cosmetics line of her VERY OWN: #KylieCosmetics That’s right: HER line of cosmetics is just that: hers dammit. While you haters sit around pontificating her earned/unearned meteoric rise to the top of the charts; #bloomberg, #forbes, has bestowed upon her a title that just like her line of cosmetics is uniquely hers!!! Forbes, a magazine thats been around for what? 102 YEARS is prob not in the habit of throwing titles around like horseshoes at your uncles lame attempt at a backyard shindig. Bloomberg Magazine, a publication that managed to outlive everyone except for #BettyWhite is also not going around throwing shade nor meaningless accolades for fun and profit I can assure you. Oh sure you can stand there with your manbun piled high or your faux #coach bag slung over your shoulder and be as judgy as you want, but DEEP down inside you know i’m right, YOU know that Kylie is self made and self aware and the queen of self promoting! It baffles me that these individuals screaming Kylie is sooo NOT worthy. Its a laughable notion that somehow in between snapping selfies on their thousand dollar iphones in raggedy gas station bathrooms they find time to enlighten us with their sad attempts at economic theory. Fact: Kylie is first and foremost a business woman. Fact: Kylie is a extremely successful business woman. Fact: Kylie is a single mom(single mom meaning unmarried for purposes of this blog) So lets review: Kylie clearly had a plan; a plan she clearly put in motion at an early age and that plan came to fruition with spectacular results. Sadly haters don’t care about any of that. Haters don’t have time for factoids. Haters can’t be bothered with reality. Kylie isn’t the first female Billionaire but she is the youngest self made one. The work that went on behind the scenes for her is hidden for a reason and thats prob for the best but that doesn’t make the work any less viable or as the kids like to say “legit”. Starting a business is never easy, sustaining a business is a never ending process of reinvention and self preservation. The whining and sniveling perpetrated by those who refuse to give credit where credit is due could and should be replaced with some good old fashioned hard work. While not everyone has great ideas nor anyway to implement them; tearing someone down because they did something you cant fathom, seems pointless. So instead of sitting round this week trying to figure out who the hell is singing behind one of those God awful furries inspired masks; send a tweet to myinvention.com or sketch out that car design that will make Elon Musk rethink that whole get us to the mars thing. Get off your ass and do something to make the world pay attn to you for once!

When you’ve got money to burn!

Not much bothers me, you can ask anyone I know; traffic? pffffft! Mondays? Puhleeeze! rain, sleet or SNOW? ha! bring it on! Bono pontificating about the evils of “Capitalism“? Well why should I care when a cantankerous old man who came from virtually nothing to one day having amassed a fortune of virtually One Billion dollars?(ok maybe it’s ONLY 700Million) Why should I care that a senior citizen who once cared so so much about some girl named “Gloria” that he forced us ALL to sing about her with pride and defiance like our bloody lives depended on it? Why? because its ridiculous that’s WHY! Look one one hand you have to cut the guy a break right he is after all from what is for all intents and purposes a rather hodgepodge of a mixed economy sooo maaaybe he is suffering from sort of financially driven identity crisis? Maybe he wakes up every morning flips a coin to decide if wants to be a socialist (do socialists even have coins?) or a capitalist ? Maybe he is just a rabble rouser and if he is how does one exactly rectify being only group with No. 1s in the 1980s, 1990s, 2000s and 2010s to have sold out stadiums and mattress store openings world wide? None of this equates a larger charitable master Socialist plan as far as I can see. And yet there is Grandpa Paul David screaming the equivalent of get off my grass! its MY grass ya hear me??? I mean if you are gonna lecture the FREE world on something dontcha think maybe you outta pick a topic like the dangers of bungee jumping? Texting whilst skateboarding perhaps? Buying brand new phones loaded with music ya never asked for? But sniveling about the almighty dollar when you have 700 Billion of ’em just lying round? multiple homes? all while wearing Louis “i’m so NOT capitalist” Vuitton shades ? I guess Ole Bono is just another one of those guys who really does has money to burn but just cant stand smoke!