Turning The Corner

Tis’ the season! No I’m not referring to you whitetail deer hunting types. Nor am I hinting at you last minute shopping professional procrastinators! Why it’s that time of year where one should take stock of their accomplishments! (or lack thereof; thank you #covid19) As I sit here sipping on some #TennesseCider courtesy of ole #jackdaniels I cant help but to feel, a pang or two of guilt. I had made quite the list of various goals & sadly these often were relegated to being downgraded to those pesky “to do” lists in one incarnation or another. Some as of this writing still have yet to even be started! There are those in the world who will start each year with well intentioned “resolutions” only to see them disappear faster than your uncle who owes you $100.00 on payday. People will tell you on any given day they cant wait to do …(fill in the blank) Go on Vacation, start a new job, get a new girlfriend, or take a nap! The same people will both find legit and illegit reasons to skip out on all of the aforementioned with the greatest of ease!

I’m here to tell you that next year is your year! That’s right I said it! Lets face it; if you haven’t done it by now…There’s always ~~tomorrow~~ next year! 2020 be damned! You didn’t think you could possibly be one of those #covid15wieghtgainers ? You can’t believe you didn’t finish that manuscript you swore could be written in a month? Are you are still staring at that #peleton bike with less than 20 miles racked up? Fear not! Next year is when you kick down doors (unless you’re DEA ofc and you’ve been kickin like a mule since day one) Next year is when you learn the joys of counting caloric intake, you suddenly seeing going 10X as a reality! Next year you’ll reach for the sky grab a cloud and swing effortlessly! How can I promise this? How can I be sure you even stand a teeny tiny chance? The truth is your potential is not only real, & not only alive but after this year of chaos & disruption you have NO choice! You are the only one who can make it happen; the story you write has a beginning that will lead you to a arc that shows you the world YOU want to live in, the world you create and the world you will come to embrace no matter what obstacles show up!

I for one am looking forward to seeing your goals and dreams realized and hearing all about them in the coming months!

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Two days from now some of us will find ourselves pondering what comes next. The questions will be relentless, confounding and even laughable. The culmination of the consistent onslaught of ad after ad after ad will finally leave us with a conclusion some of us totally saw coming and others…not so much. Pundits, pollsters, pranksters will have a field day & laugh all the way to the bank. This four year circus in the making is brought to you in part by those who could care less. This trainwreck of a #allamerican sideshow is unavoidable, unbelievable, and has reached an untenable place in our storied history. History has always repeated itself; for better or for worse. While it’s all too easy to live in a bubble where we feel like our emotional state is predicated upon the latest tweet, or misplaced #amazon order, lets not forget those who came before us.

We tend to forget that it wasn’t so long ago, that “The Voting Rights Act”(circa 1965) had to be amended FIVE times to be expanded to ensure protections could be carried out thoroughly. I repeat FIVE times with the latest amendment showing up in the year of our Lord of 1982 !!!(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voting_Rights_Act_of_1965#Amendments) Let that sink in; “1982” That’s the year #Time magazine declared it was the YEAR of the computer? That was the year the VERY FIRST #CDplayer was sold… in Japan no less. ohhh & that Thriller album was also released. All of these things probably got 10X the attention than the way more important voting rights amendment got. My point is ALL the handwringing over the standing in line/mailing it in/showing up on the standard day of to cast a ballot is much ado about nothing. The hubris is on the ludicrous scale of disbelief. Voting is way too important to ignore its history, way to important to pretend entire segments of the population were NOT given an opportunity to cast a ballot.

So please for the love of all things #political go on and vote BUT stop telling everyone your life depends on it or worse yet your neighbors life or your grandkids life depends on it one way or the other. Because when peoples lives DID depend on it, it took ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SEVEN yrs to do something meaningful about it. Let THAT sink in: ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SEVEN YEARS!!! Do yourself a favor; do your homework, think long and hard about what got us here. You won’t regret it once the obvious becomes crystal clear. In the meantime have a coke and a smile, zoom away & remember “presidents come and go BUT #wutang is forever!” I’m Rocco Santangelo & I approved this blog.

Silly Humans…

Featured

Debates are with regards to politics on a “national level” an utter waste of time. Lets face it did anyone & I mean ANYONE actually think that somehow someway in an age of instant information, & viral tweeting that something worthwhile would be conveyed this past Tuesday? Debates are an antiquated and truly boring way to show any semblance of expressionism. For the love of thesaurus why are we being subjected to such things in this modern era? Politicians spend way more effort attempting to go viral on any given day than the average teenager who just discovered snapchat. They cant fathom not being part of the great clickbait world we live in and yet somehow they think we need to lose a couple hours of our lives to hear two geriatrics go at it? No new information, no solid plans to put this country back together, nothing but some redundant he said/he said/deny/deny/deny mantras until gaskets were blown and even a so called moderator couldn’t figure out how to even feign interest in the debacle before him.

It’s time to do away with the “format”. It’s time to realize despite being spoon fed micro bits of information with kernels of truths thrown in; that we the people deserve better. WE the people should be treated with much higher regard. Election cycles are no longer something that suddenly ramps up the closer one gets to November, they are damn near perpetual. We are being inundated with politicians bravado moments after they get sworn in. Their need to stay in the limelight has left us with the feeling of #tmi (too much information) like no other generation before us. There is nothing anyone will ever glean from a any future debates because its already out there! I don’t wanna hear about the undecideds. They don’t exist! no one walks up o the polling booth at the very last instant and grabs that pen and say “hell I just don’t know…” and NO ONE is running up to their local mail box with that mail in ballot in their nervously shaking hands mumbling to themselves: “if only there were four debates instead of three!”

We don’t need debates we NEED answers… We need someone to ask relevant questions (yes you, YOU faux news anchors and blithering talking heads: I’m talking to you! Put politicians on the spot at every level…stop asking them opinion oriented questions/ or GOD forbid how they feel about something and ask them WHAT and WHEN they are going to do about it. That is what we as a society need: action not arguing, answers not antagonizing anecdotes. It’s time politics catches up with technology & mankind’s ability to discern for themselves.

The Billion Dollar Question?

Kylie, Kylie Kylie. It seems everyone is up in arms over her success. The California kid who magically showed up around 1997 thanks to Bruce Jenner and his wife at the time Kris! She more or less grew up in front of us via Cable TV and eventually wound up home schooled for bit; but no cares about that! Lets fast forward to 2013 when she designed/created or somehow gave us some soon to be famous lipstick? Nail Poilish? sandpaper? who the hell knows ? Whats important is in the year of our Lord 2015 we found ourselves graced with: Her first scandal: “PlumperGate” or “Lipgate” soon to be followed by a cosmetics line of her VERY OWN: #KylieCosmetics That’s right: HER line of cosmetics is just that: hers dammit. While you haters sit around pontificating her earned/unearned meteoric rise to the top of the charts; #bloomberg, #forbes, has bestowed upon her a title that just like her line of cosmetics is uniquely hers!!! Forbes, a magazine thats been around for what? 102 YEARS is prob not in the habit of throwing titles around like horseshoes at your uncles lame attempt at a backyard shindig. Bloomberg Magazine, a publication that managed to outlive everyone except for #BettyWhite is also not going around throwing shade nor meaningless accolades for fun and profit I can assure you. Oh sure you can stand there with your manbun piled high or your faux #coach bag slung over your shoulder and be as judgy as you want, but DEEP down inside you know i’m right, YOU know that Kylie is self made and self aware and the queen of self promoting! It baffles me that these individuals screaming Kylie is sooo NOT worthy. Its a laughable notion that somehow in between snapping selfies on their thousand dollar iphones in raggedy gas station bathrooms they find time to enlighten us with their sad attempts at economic theory. Fact: Kylie is first and foremost a business woman. Fact: Kylie is a extremely successful business woman. Fact: Kylie is a single mom(single mom meaning unmarried for purposes of this blog) So lets review: Kylie clearly had a plan; a plan she clearly put in motion at an early age and that plan came to fruition with spectacular results. Sadly haters don’t care about any of that. Haters don’t have time for factoids. Haters can’t be bothered with reality. Kylie isn’t the first female Billionaire but she is the youngest self made one. The work that went on behind the scenes for her is hidden for a reason and thats prob for the best but that doesn’t make the work any less viable or as the kids like to say “legit”. Starting a business is never easy, sustaining a business is a never ending process of reinvention and self preservation. The whining and sniveling perpetrated by those who refuse to give credit where credit is due could and should be replaced with some good old fashioned hard work. While not everyone has great ideas nor anyway to implement them; tearing someone down because they did something you cant fathom, seems pointless. So instead of sitting round this week trying to figure out who the hell is singing behind one of those God awful furries inspired masks; send a tweet to myinvention.com or sketch out that car design that will make Elon Musk rethink that whole get us to the mars thing. Get off your ass and do something to make the world pay attn to you for once!

One Mans Wall

There is an old Chinese proverb that says: “There are always ears on the other side of the wall” For future employees of McDonalds this will hold true more than they would like. It appears POTUS isn’t the only pro wall business minded individual hanging around. McDonalds has decided in their infinite wisdom to place a wall (barrier?) (steel slat style?) in between the kitchen area and the cashiers. This wall is of course only one part of their remodeling efforts to appeal to a more upscale clientele. Because a mass produced faux chicken nugget is clearly on the must have list of every high income earner ever? The best part of this brick by brick debacle is the franchise owners are claiming this wont help customer service!!! Because when I think of ~~Nordstroms~~ McDonalds somehow customer service is the first thing that comes to mind. Their other anti-wall argument is something tantamount to a “one size fits all” approach for remodels isn’t viable? This from a company that has no qualms about the infamous order by number spiel because a la carte is too much work? If one size doesn’t fit all via marketing brand/recognition some one needs to tell Honda because last I checked every dealership from here to mars looks identical from every vantage point whether you are in a Prius or traveling via Space X! THIS is because they want YOU to be able to pick out their store with a level of comfort AND ease…to say nothing of the poor badgers in upper management who will make frequent visits and NOT have to break out a GPS to figure where the fry cook station is or even feel that dreaded sense of discombobulation that could easily arise from entering a unfamiliar surrounding. So I say build the wall let upper management and every blue hair grandma from here to poughkeepsie walk in to the golden arches with a sense of relief, a sense of familiarity and marvel at the modern and ever changing walls that surround them! This wall shall be bigly & beautiful if corporate has anything to say about it and it should be! Why do you think on every American made dollar neath E. Pluribis Unum it clearly states “Bigger is Better”! Truth Justice & build that damn thing is the American way! If I don’t have to stare at the kitchen while awaiting my newly crafted Artisan Chicken sandwich I’m fine with it!

When you’ve got money to burn!

Not much bothers me, you can ask anyone I know; traffic? pffffft! Mondays? Puhleeeze! rain, sleet or SNOW? ha! bring it on! Bono pontificating about the evils of “Capitalism“? Well why should I care when a cantankerous old man who came from virtually nothing to one day having amassed a fortune of virtually One Billion dollars?(ok maybe it’s ONLY 700Million) Why should I care that a senior citizen who once cared so so much about some girl named “Gloria” that he forced us ALL to sing about her with pride and defiance like our bloody lives depended on it? Why? because its ridiculous that’s WHY! Look one one hand you have to cut the guy a break right he is after all from what is for all intents and purposes a rather hodgepodge of a mixed economy sooo maaaybe he is suffering from sort of financially driven identity crisis? Maybe he wakes up every morning flips a coin to decide if wants to be a socialist (do socialists even have coins?) or a capitalist ? Maybe he is just a rabble rouser and if he is how does one exactly rectify being only group with No. 1s in the 1980s, 1990s, 2000s and 2010s to have sold out stadiums and mattress store openings world wide? None of this equates a larger charitable master Socialist plan as far as I can see. And yet there is Grandpa Paul David screaming the equivalent of get off my grass! its MY grass ya hear me??? I mean if you are gonna lecture the FREE world on something dontcha think maybe you outta pick a topic like the dangers of bungee jumping? Texting whilst skateboarding perhaps? Buying brand new phones loaded with music ya never asked for? But sniveling about the almighty dollar when you have 700 Billion of ’em just lying round? multiple homes? all while wearing Louis “i’m so NOT capitalist” Vuitton shades ? I guess Ole Bono is just another one of those guys who really does has money to burn but just cant stand smoke!

That Portless Phone Tho…

First “they” took the optical drive out of my laptop, Then “they” took my headphone jack AND now “they” wanna give me a phone that has ZERO ports!!! That’s right you read that correctly; ZERO as in nada, zip, not EVEN one! Who do we have to thank for this groundbreaking technology? Who would be so bold as to give us such an amazing feat of advanced progress? Is it my boy #JohnLegere ? Is Blackberry jumping back into the game? NOPE its none other than #Meizu !!! OH YES MEIZU!!! A company thats only been around since 2003 While most of us were to busy trying to avoid #Sars as we walked around mindlessly listening to our #Ipods YES 2003 the year that gave birth to the rapper #BhadBhabie shall live in infamy thanks to MEIZU! After all its easy to be an #applefanboy & How hard is it to scream: “I LOVE MY SAMSUNG?” or maybe Pray that one day #Microsoft makes a phone you will wanna HOLD onto? But MEIZU is taking us to the next level as they are interactive with their fanbase via social media like a page straight outta the John Legere handbook, and with backing from #ALIBABA they are sure to crash here on our shores faster than you can say “Can you hear me now” Did I for get to mention the name of this newfangled phone? Its Called “The Zero” Oh yes its free of all those intrusive contraptions like a Sim Card Slot, a speaker grill & a charging port BUT wait there’s more!! Hold on to your digital wallets it has NO BUTTONS!!! NO BUTTONS!!! whatever will become of your precious muscle memory??? will retraining be needed? a renewal of that gym membership you stopped using one week in to January? Your hands will lean to cope Your eyes will learn to see and your brain will probably reboot if Meizu has anything to do with it. I for one cant wait!

#TeamCheadle

The world is filled with questionable decisions often made by people whom are typically just in to big a hurry to give their actions even a half hazard 2nd thought before it’s too late. Not so sure this is the case with #KathyGriffin After all when one waits 18 long months to pick a fight over a battle you already lost, the general consensus is “hey look at the sore loser still steaming” But wait there’s more!!! Old Don unequivocally DENIED their friendship altogether! That tweet alone was worth the price of admission! Kathy never one to catch a clue no matter how big a catchers mitt they give her manages insult Dons #Liberalcred by alleging him to be an outright phony? The phrase “unmitigated gall” comes to mind. I think perhaps its time Kathy stopped trying so hard to be the bull in the china shop and maybe just sit this one out.

Speaking of having a seat; How does a guy with a net worth of somewhere around 2.5 million (wikiworth 2016) end up so broke he cant write a couple of checks totaling 13K? Yes i’m referring to Chris “Why dont you have a seat over there” Hansen!!! I mean if you’re gonna go ahead and order enough t-shirts, decals & mugs to hide enough cocaine in to make even #elchapo smile; wouldn’t it behoove you to be be sure you could at least pay for them? Has #ChrisHansen not heard of #vistaprint for the love of GOD? 13K for tshirts/mugs AND decals??? Either Chris has more friends than Tom from MySpace ever dreamed of having OR those are some pretty damn big t-shirts that have God know what printed on em? Bible verses one thru eighty-three? Every predator that ever got away from him? I don’t know what kind of time behind bars one gets in the Great State of Connecticut for bouncing checks, but here’s hoping he doesn’t try to bounce his way outta the courthouse like one of his many previous costars.

The Sky Has Yet To Fall

It has come to my attention that an “egg” is the most liked photo on Instagram. I repeat an EGG! Just when I thought a nation under siege via twitter storms and reality TV denouements to say nothing of the faux outrage over the latest non-binary battles; I find myself faced with an EGG! One has to wonder was the former number one photo crown bearer a vegetarian? Is this a sinister plot from the USDA? Could The EGG in all its “raw” beauty actually be what 35 million plus people worldwide have given their undivided attention to if only long enough to double tap? I know, I know the skeptic in you can’t stop scoffing at the mere fact thirty-five million is nothing when one considers that it could be that damn near the whole state of CA (yeah yeah stat freaks I know the CA pop is 39.5million) woke up one morning and decided it would be much easier to click like (heart?) rather than start another yet another getKylieouttaherechange.org petition OR maybe just maybe the “world” as we know it isn’t ready to be hit by that asteroid( https://www.express.co.uk/news/science/1070348/Nasa-asteroid-warning-asteroid-2019-ax2-earth-close-approach) and we can all breathe a lil easier because despite the naysaysers who would have you believe that somehow the only thing that matters is how long we have to stand in line JUST to catch a freaking flight, or that we are the laughing stock of the universe when POTUS or a whining celebrity manages to have a meltdown via social media that our tiny lil intertwined lives will be crushed neath the sadness and banal cries of ALL those who have yet to see the forest, nor the damn trees or what ever it was people were afraid of circa 1546 (apologies to John Heywood)