In Space, “No One Can Hear You Hate”

Featured

Someone once said it was THE final frontier… I say its the only frontier anyone actually cares about! Did you know that NASA as of the year 2020 has in its employ 17,373 individuals? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASA) I repeat “17,373” individuals, & yet our #spacerace is down to three brilliant billionaires! Three!!! These three men have done what 17 thousand plus individuals couldn’t get done and are vilified for it? (yes I know My hero Elon has yet to launch his ego maniacal ass into subspace YET) Maybe Elons focus on Mars has him preoccupied? Perhaps his recent 6th child plays a role in his last place finish to reach the glories of subspace travel? Whatever the reason it saves him from the onslaught of the ALL the crying, hand wringing, whining and sniveling that The KING of internet commerce has had to endure! For the love of all things Picard could people be any more petty? The memes, the snide comments, the faux #CheGuevara armchair financial analysts!!! ALL screaming as loud as their keyboards, & raggedy android/apple twitter loving phones will allow them to pontificate on ALL things they know nothing of for hours on end! Its beyond hilarious, to think that a guy who started in “HIS” garage way back in the 94(that’s 1994 for those of your keeping track)where he went from Washington (the state) to SUBSPACE in less than 30 yrs!!! Can a brother get a Congrats? Can a Brotha get a attaboy? Can a brother get a #Godspeed ??? NOOO instead he gets torn down before he is 1/2way up to his destination! Instead he catches ALL kinds of hell as if he shoulda been dropping cash outta that capsule from the minute he took off to the second he reached subspace! Did I get a kick outta the “Dr. Evil comparison memes? heck yeah! Did I take umbrage, with the “he should not be thanking his employees/consumers/friends and whoever else” tweets/Facebook vitriol? YES I did.

Bezos may be a lot of things God knows he is never gonna win “employer of the year” or Husband of the decade? He is however nothing short of a genius! Have you bothered to think what it must have been like to slave away in a garage trying to start a bookstore online? Oh sure you take it for granted now getting your groceries within a two hour window, ordering a floating shelf for your toddlers room delivered next day with NO S&H charges(that’s shipping & handling for those of you still shopping in actual brick & mortar stores?) I’m sure many of those screaming at the top of their entitled lungs cannot begin to fathom the COLD hard truth that BEZOS is in fact our generations equivalent of Vanderbilt/Rockefeller/Carnegies.

The unmitigated gall that has permeated some parts of society, that leads us down a path of what’s his should be OURS, is at best preposterous, at worst misguided. Income equality? Homelessness? World hunger? not a single one of these travesty’s could ever be solved with one man’s (woman’s?) wealth. Amazon is without a doubt capitalism and the fruits it bears are here to stay. Anyone who postulates that Jeff’s trip to Subspace, Deep space, or MySPace is somehow a waste of time & money NOT well spent is missing out on all things past present & future. Alas as we all know #hatrersgonnahate with apologies to #TaylorSwift & #OmarNoory

What’s The Move?

Featured

The official start of spring is just over one month old & with it has come changes like we have never seen. Typically the race to selling and buying of homes coincides with the bloom of everything from tulips to azaleas. A prediction of a sales drop of up to 35% From CNBC (https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/19/coronavirus-update-home-sales-could-fall-by-35percent-as-spring-market-stalls.html ) puts a new twist on that… The purchases of classic items such as sun dresses to be matched with shoes now have to be paired with a matching mask! The process of obtaining that new vehicle for your child to go off to college with suddenly, has many more hurdles than price alone. The freewheeling world we have to come love day in and day out is now frought with unanswered questions and a future that may or may not be in our hands. (pending wich lastest conspiracy you may be buying into) The return to normalcy is either a lofty dream or a #MadMax laden ugly reality show in the making. Surely there are those who have embraced the #shelterinplace orders if for no other reason than; they never left their immediate 5mile radius to begin with. Work from home types, teleworkers, entrepreneurs and their ilk have long been ahead of the curve as well. But until recently they were without a doubt in the minority. Now the masses have had to scramble and rethink every aspect of thier daily routines from that morning #starbucks run to the oft needed happyhour. How does one digest all the changes thrust upon them in record time? How does one forgo thier casual nuances that they identified with so much so that they meshed with blindly? (Think the #WashingtonCapitals jersey sporting individuals whom had nothing more to look forward to than year after year of losses only to finally see that cup come home?) Sports; its a identifier that many of us will allow to affect our daily moods with or without a second thought given to really why? Now the sports world pushes on with thier draft picks & contract negotians but the airline industry might have the biggest impact how these teams get from one (empty?) staduim to another? The world over sports has managed to define eveything from nationality to the earliest goal setting dreams of children with or maybe only a sliver of any real chance of achieving them. The olympic games, marathons and even Octoberfest have ALL been cancelled or postponed(yes there are some people that consider beer drinking a sport in case you weren’t aware) The purveying wisdom is everything from the world series to the masters will all somehow make a comeback bigger than Robert Downey Jr fresh outta rehab! I’m not so sure, Im not entirely convinced that things will be as rosy as a #tombrady touchdown pass in the great state of Georgia on opening day. Am I hoping for some semblance of a return to partisan bickering? Do I long for the days some whining & sniveling elitist freaking out over his/her half caf/doubleshot of milk with only a little ice not prepared to thier liking? Do I have fantasies of grocery stores sans thier ghetto fabulous directional arrows leading us to to safety? Maaaybe… But I digress after all its a day to day world world we now find ourselves in. It’s a world in which the questions out number the answers exponentially. Its a world where as the kids say “what’s the move” takes on a whole new meaning.

The Fragile Fabric of Life

Featured

Death & Taxes” is often a refrain heard this time of year that either brings a shrug or a chuckle depending on your particular point of view. People from every walk of life find themselves contemplating this refrain with perhaps a touch more anxiety here in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. Sadly there just aren’t enough meth lovin’ gun toting, animal saving documentaries to distract us from the reality of what our very new normal looks like. For some of us the change has been gradual, for others it changed literally overnight. The loss of jobs, access to schools/teachers/friends/co-workers and to say nothing of the entertainment industry we once knew has ALL forever changed. It’s easy to laugh at the memes that poke fun at the masses who once were beyond content to stay locked in their perspective offices, homes, coffee shops readily glued to their phones/laptops etc NOW are only to eager to walk, run, job OUTSIDE once given a firm suggestion that keeping ones butt planted in the house would trigger an onslaught of: “I need some fresh air” It’s harder to laugh at the 24 hr onslaught of press briefings, filled with grim stats, unanswered questions AND the ensuing chaos.

We humans are a funny lot, lets face it we wanna believe we have ALL the answers or the potential to find them, use them and make them our own, Nothing could be farther from the truth. We know very little in the grand scheme of things, in fact ill go out on a limb and say we know less than nothing. Oh sure shake your head in disbelief, wag your finger & point/laugh as you marvel at all of our collective achievements! The invention of fire, the fishing rod, the airplane! we’ve put men in space & 20,000 leagues under the sea! yet lo & behold; no cure for Dengue, Diabetes, and my fave “the common cold” NONE! We cant even figure out how to change lanes in cars we invented without trying verbally assault one another of over a turn signal, because we have lulled ourselves into somehow believing that we are superior to one another time and time again. According to www.nsc.org 38,000 people died in the USA last year due to car accidents. yes its a 2%decline from the prior year, but its a staggering number indeed. A number more often than not attributed to human error. 38,000! some of them taken away instantly others after battles to stay alive for varying periods of time only to succumb to a demise that arguably could have been avoided. Life is often taken for granted & we have always powered through one end of times scenario after another with very little regard for the next “internet breaking moment” yet somehow this world changing scene stealing pandemic has left even the talking heads/politicians and philosophers scratching their heads with the ability to pontificate freely suddenly snatched from under them. No ONE man, world leader, Doctor, or civilian can bring this thing to a screeching halt. No one woman will deliver us from the jaws of death that certainly await the unfortunate ones who shall be taken from us by this powerful invisible force. To Quote Mr. Driverless Car: “The first step is to establish that something is possible; then probability will occur.” (apologies to Elon if i butchered that) Together however, we can work towards a solution that encompasses many more answers than questions in order to preserve, protect and cherish that fleeting span of time that is each and every one of our collective lives as we stand together albeit 6-10 feet apart to live one more day. Maybe getting outside with your kids, maybe spending time with your spouse sans smartphone, maybe seek out a career path you never thought possible or secretly ALWAYS wanted? Just remember life goes on with and without us! Make the most of it before you flick off that driver next to you, or snatch that last roll of toilet paper off the shelf…

The Billion Dollar Question?

Kylie, Kylie Kylie. It seems everyone is up in arms over her success. The California kid who magically showed up around 1997 thanks to Bruce Jenner and his wife at the time Kris! She more or less grew up in front of us via Cable TV and eventually wound up home schooled for bit; but no cares about that! Lets fast forward to 2013 when she designed/created or somehow gave us some soon to be famous lipstick? Nail Poilish? sandpaper? who the hell knows ? Whats important is in the year of our Lord 2015 we found ourselves graced with: Her first scandal: “PlumperGate” or “Lipgate” soon to be followed by a cosmetics line of her VERY OWN: #KylieCosmetics That’s right: HER line of cosmetics is just that: hers dammit. While you haters sit around pontificating her earned/unearned meteoric rise to the top of the charts; #bloomberg, #forbes, has bestowed upon her a title that just like her line of cosmetics is uniquely hers!!! Forbes, a magazine thats been around for what? 102 YEARS is prob not in the habit of throwing titles around like horseshoes at your uncles lame attempt at a backyard shindig. Bloomberg Magazine, a publication that managed to outlive everyone except for #BettyWhite is also not going around throwing shade nor meaningless accolades for fun and profit I can assure you. Oh sure you can stand there with your manbun piled high or your faux #coach bag slung over your shoulder and be as judgy as you want, but DEEP down inside you know i’m right, YOU know that Kylie is self made and self aware and the queen of self promoting! It baffles me that these individuals screaming Kylie is sooo NOT worthy. Its a laughable notion that somehow in between snapping selfies on their thousand dollar iphones in raggedy gas station bathrooms they find time to enlighten us with their sad attempts at economic theory. Fact: Kylie is first and foremost a business woman. Fact: Kylie is a extremely successful business woman. Fact: Kylie is a single mom(single mom meaning unmarried for purposes of this blog) So lets review: Kylie clearly had a plan; a plan she clearly put in motion at an early age and that plan came to fruition with spectacular results. Sadly haters don’t care about any of that. Haters don’t have time for factoids. Haters can’t be bothered with reality. Kylie isn’t the first female Billionaire but she is the youngest self made one. The work that went on behind the scenes for her is hidden for a reason and thats prob for the best but that doesn’t make the work any less viable or as the kids like to say “legit”. Starting a business is never easy, sustaining a business is a never ending process of reinvention and self preservation. The whining and sniveling perpetrated by those who refuse to give credit where credit is due could and should be replaced with some good old fashioned hard work. While not everyone has great ideas nor anyway to implement them; tearing someone down because they did something you cant fathom, seems pointless. So instead of sitting round this week trying to figure out who the hell is singing behind one of those God awful furries inspired masks; send a tweet to myinvention.com or sketch out that car design that will make Elon Musk rethink that whole get us to the mars thing. Get off your ass and do something to make the world pay attn to you for once!