It’s a Dogs Life!

I’ve been a witness to many a strange thing in my day; doors opening by themselves, grown men fighting over toy dolls, and even inexplicable things flying through the nighttime sky. Today however, I found myself attempting to complete a five mile run along a peaceful wooded trail when a dog trots by wearing shoes! Oh yes, “shoes” maybe they are actually booties? “Paw Protectors?” This was no froo froo #ParisHilton puppy; more like Doberman loving #MariahCarey circa 1990. That’s right this dog like every other pup that has been domesticated for thousands of years a direct descendant of the WOLF has found itself wearing some sort of protective footwear like he just stepped outta some #OSHA training video! Why??? what would possess an owner to think a dog, a DIRECT descendant of the WOLF would need a pair of booties? Was I running through the Sahara desert? (no)Was there broken glass every ten foot on the trail?(no) Was the mud just too much? Was the owner just being extra? How does one justify pampering, babying, a dog who clearly came from a long line of hunters? Look I know the whole fur baby thing in this country is a very real thing but for the love of God!!! Booties? really? Some days I worry that it’s not the aliens that are gonna show up from a galaxy far away and do us in, nor will that whole #climatechange thing wipe us out either. Nope, it will be US and our constant need to to somehow protect everything we touch from every other thing we lay our eyes on. We have more collective audacity than Capt Picard/Jack Sparrow combined. There is a reason we are at the top of the food chain, tho after today I’m not so sure how much longer that will be the case. The thing about dogs is: “They are great levelers, there’s no nonsense with them, and they just want affection and not a pair of booties” Apologies to #DonatellaVersace

When you’ve got money to burn!

Not much bothers me, you can ask anyone I know; traffic? pffffft! Mondays? Puhleeeze! rain, sleet or SNOW? ha! bring it on! Bono pontificating about the evils of “Capitalism“? Well why should I care when a cantankerous old man who came from virtually nothing to one day having amassed a fortune of virtually One Billion dollars?(ok maybe it’s ONLY 700Million) Why should I care that a senior citizen who once cared so so much about some girl named “Gloria” that he forced us ALL to sing about her with pride and defiance like our bloody lives depended on it? Why? because its ridiculous that’s WHY! Look one one hand you have to cut the guy a break right he is after all from what is for all intents and purposes a rather hodgepodge of a mixed economy sooo maaaybe he is suffering from sort of financially driven identity crisis? Maybe he wakes up every morning flips a coin to decide if wants to be a socialist (do socialists even have coins?) or a capitalist ? Maybe he is just a rabble rouser and if he is how does one exactly rectify being only group with No. 1s in the 1980s, 1990s, 2000s and 2010s to have sold out stadiums and mattress store openings world wide? None of this equates a larger charitable master Socialist plan as far as I can see. And yet there is Grandpa Paul David screaming the equivalent of get off my grass! its MY grass ya hear me??? I mean if you are gonna lecture the FREE world on something dontcha think maybe you outta pick a topic like the dangers of bungee jumping? Texting whilst skateboarding perhaps? Buying brand new phones loaded with music ya never asked for? But sniveling about the almighty dollar when you have 700 Billion of ’em just lying round? multiple homes? all while wearing Louis “i’m so NOT capitalist” Vuitton shades ? I guess Ole Bono is just another one of those guys who really does has money to burn but just cant stand smoke!

#TeamCheadle

The world is filled with questionable decisions often made by people whom are typically just in to big a hurry to give their actions even a half hazard 2nd thought before it’s too late. Not so sure this is the case with #KathyGriffin After all when one waits 18 long months to pick a fight over a battle you already lost, the general consensus is “hey look at the sore loser still steaming” But wait there’s more!!! Old Don unequivocally DENIED their friendship altogether! That tweet alone was worth the price of admission! Kathy never one to catch a clue no matter how big a catchers mitt they give her manages insult Dons #Liberalcred by alleging him to be an outright phony? The phrase “unmitigated gall” comes to mind. I think perhaps its time Kathy stopped trying so hard to be the bull in the china shop and maybe just sit this one out.

Speaking of having a seat; How does a guy with a net worth of somewhere around 2.5 million (wikiworth 2016) end up so broke he cant write a couple of checks totaling 13K? Yes i’m referring to Chris “Why dont you have a seat over there” Hansen!!! I mean if you’re gonna go ahead and order enough t-shirts, decals & mugs to hide enough cocaine in to make even #elchapo smile; wouldn’t it behoove you to be be sure you could at least pay for them? Has #ChrisHansen not heard of #vistaprint for the love of GOD? 13K for tshirts/mugs AND decals??? Either Chris has more friends than Tom from MySpace ever dreamed of having OR those are some pretty damn big t-shirts that have God know what printed on em? Bible verses one thru eighty-three? Every predator that ever got away from him? I don’t know what kind of time behind bars one gets in the Great State of Connecticut for bouncing checks, but here’s hoping he doesn’t try to bounce his way outta the courthouse like one of his many previous costars.