Silly Humans…

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Debates are with regards to politics on a “national level” an utter waste of time. Lets face it did anyone & I mean ANYONE actually think that somehow someway in an age of instant information, & viral tweeting that something worthwhile would be conveyed this past Tuesday? Debates are an antiquated and truly boring way to show any semblance of expressionism. For the love of thesaurus why are we being subjected to such things in this modern era? Politicians spend way more effort attempting to go viral on any given day than the average teenager who just discovered snapchat. They cant fathom not being part of the great clickbait world we live in and yet somehow they think we need to lose a couple hours of our lives to hear two geriatrics go at it? No new information, no solid plans to put this country back together, nothing but some redundant he said/he said/deny/deny/deny mantras until gaskets were blown and even a so called moderator couldn’t figure out how to even feign interest in the debacle before him.

It’s time to do away with the “format”. It’s time to realize despite being spoon fed micro bits of information with kernels of truths thrown in; that we the people deserve better. WE the people should be treated with much higher regard. Election cycles are no longer something that suddenly ramps up the closer one gets to November, they are damn near perpetual. We are being inundated with politicians bravado moments after they get sworn in. Their need to stay in the limelight has left us with the feeling of #tmi (too much information) like no other generation before us. There is nothing anyone will ever glean from a any future debates because its already out there! I don’t wanna hear about the undecideds. They don’t exist! no one walks up o the polling booth at the very last instant and grabs that pen and say “hell I just don’t know…” and NO ONE is running up to their local mail box with that mail in ballot in their nervously shaking hands mumbling to themselves: “if only there were four debates instead of three!”

We don’t need debates we NEED answers… We need someone to ask relevant questions (yes you, YOU faux news anchors and blithering talking heads: I’m talking to you! Put politicians on the spot at every level…stop asking them opinion oriented questions/ or GOD forbid how they feel about something and ask them WHAT and WHEN they are going to do about it. That is what we as a society need: action not arguing, answers not antagonizing anecdotes. It’s time politics catches up with technology & mankind’s ability to discern for themselves.

The Fragile Fabric of Life

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Death & Taxes” is often a refrain heard this time of year that either brings a shrug or a chuckle depending on your particular point of view. People from every walk of life find themselves contemplating this refrain with perhaps a touch more anxiety here in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. Sadly there just aren’t enough meth lovin’ gun toting, animal saving documentaries to distract us from the reality of what our very new normal looks like. For some of us the change has been gradual, for others it changed literally overnight. The loss of jobs, access to schools/teachers/friends/co-workers and to say nothing of the entertainment industry we once knew has ALL forever changed. It’s easy to laugh at the memes that poke fun at the masses who once were beyond content to stay locked in their perspective offices, homes, coffee shops readily glued to their phones/laptops etc NOW are only to eager to walk, run, job OUTSIDE once given a firm suggestion that keeping ones butt planted in the house would trigger an onslaught of: “I need some fresh air” It’s harder to laugh at the 24 hr onslaught of press briefings, filled with grim stats, unanswered questions AND the ensuing chaos.

We humans are a funny lot, lets face it we wanna believe we have ALL the answers or the potential to find them, use them and make them our own, Nothing could be farther from the truth. We know very little in the grand scheme of things, in fact ill go out on a limb and say we know less than nothing. Oh sure shake your head in disbelief, wag your finger & point/laugh as you marvel at all of our collective achievements! The invention of fire, the fishing rod, the airplane! we’ve put men in space & 20,000 leagues under the sea! yet lo & behold; no cure for Dengue, Diabetes, and my fave “the common cold” NONE! We cant even figure out how to change lanes in cars we invented without trying verbally assault one another of over a turn signal, because we have lulled ourselves into somehow believing that we are superior to one another time and time again. According to www.nsc.org 38,000 people died in the USA last year due to car accidents. yes its a 2%decline from the prior year, but its a staggering number indeed. A number more often than not attributed to human error. 38,000! some of them taken away instantly others after battles to stay alive for varying periods of time only to succumb to a demise that arguably could have been avoided. Life is often taken for granted & we have always powered through one end of times scenario after another with very little regard for the next “internet breaking moment” yet somehow this world changing scene stealing pandemic has left even the talking heads/politicians and philosophers scratching their heads with the ability to pontificate freely suddenly snatched from under them. No ONE man, world leader, Doctor, or civilian can bring this thing to a screeching halt. No one woman will deliver us from the jaws of death that certainly await the unfortunate ones who shall be taken from us by this powerful invisible force. To Quote Mr. Driverless Car: “The first step is to establish that something is possible; then probability will occur.” (apologies to Elon if i butchered that) Together however, we can work towards a solution that encompasses many more answers than questions in order to preserve, protect and cherish that fleeting span of time that is each and every one of our collective lives as we stand together albeit 6-10 feet apart to live one more day. Maybe getting outside with your kids, maybe spending time with your spouse sans smartphone, maybe seek out a career path you never thought possible or secretly ALWAYS wanted? Just remember life goes on with and without us! Make the most of it before you flick off that driver next to you, or snatch that last roll of toilet paper off the shelf…

One Mans Wall

There is an old Chinese proverb that says: “There are always ears on the other side of the wall” For future employees of McDonalds this will hold true more than they would like. It appears POTUS isn’t the only pro wall business minded individual hanging around. McDonalds has decided in their infinite wisdom to place a wall (barrier?) (steel slat style?) in between the kitchen area and the cashiers. This wall is of course only one part of their remodeling efforts to appeal to a more upscale clientele. Because a mass produced faux chicken nugget is clearly on the must have list of every high income earner ever? The best part of this brick by brick debacle is the franchise owners are claiming this wont help customer service!!! Because when I think of Nordstroms McDonalds somehow customer service is the first thing that comes to mind. Their other anti-wall argument is something tantamount to a “one size fits all” approach for remodels isn’t viable? This from a company that has no qualms about the infamous order by number spiel because a la carte is too much work? If one size doesn’t fit all via marketing brand/recognition some one needs to tell Honda because last I checked every dealership from here to mars looks identical from every vantage point whether you are in a Prius or traveling via Space X! THIS is because they want YOU to be able to pick out their store with a level of comfort AND ease…to say nothing of the poor badgers in upper management who will make frequent visits and NOT have to break out a GPS to figure where the fry cook station is or even feel that dreaded sense of discombobulation that could easily arise from entering a unfamiliar surrounding. So I say build the wall let upper management and every blue hair grandma from here to poughkeepsie walk in to the golden arches with a sense of relief, a sense of familiarity and marvel at the modern and ever changing walls that surround them! This wall shall be bigly & beautiful if corporate has anything to say about it and it should be! Why do you think on every American made dollar neath E. Pluribis Unum it clearly states “Bigger is Better”! Truth Justice & build that damn thing is the American way! If I don’t have to stare at the kitchen while awaiting my newly crafted Artisan Chicken sandwich I’m fine with it!


When you’ve got money to burn!

Not much bothers me, you can ask anyone I know; traffic? pffffft! Mondays? Puhleeeze! rain, sleet or SNOW? ha! bring it on! Bono pontificating about the evils of “Capitalism“? Well why should I care when a cantankerous old man who came from virtually nothing to one day having amassed a fortune of virtually One Billion dollars?(ok maybe it’s ONLY 700Million) Why should I care that a senior citizen who once cared so so much about some girl named “Gloria” that he forced us ALL to sing about her with pride and defiance like our bloody lives depended on it? Why? because its ridiculous that’s WHY! Look one one hand you have to cut the guy a break right he is after all from what is for all intents and purposes a rather hodgepodge of a mixed economy sooo maaaybe he is suffering from sort of financially driven identity crisis? Maybe he wakes up every morning flips a coin to decide if wants to be a socialist (do socialists even have coins?) or a capitalist ? Maybe he is just a rabble rouser and if he is how does one exactly rectify being only group with No. 1s in the 1980s, 1990s, 2000s and 2010s to have sold out stadiums and mattress store openings world wide? None of this equates a larger charitable master Socialist plan as far as I can see. And yet there is Grandpa Paul David screaming the equivalent of get off my grass! its MY grass ya hear me??? I mean if you are gonna lecture the FREE world on something dontcha think maybe you outta pick a topic like the dangers of bungee jumping? Texting whilst skateboarding perhaps? Buying brand new phones loaded with music ya never asked for? But sniveling about the almighty dollar when you have 700 Billion of ’em just lying round? multiple homes? all while wearing Louis “i’m so NOT capitalist” Vuitton shades ? I guess Ole Bono is just another one of those guys who really does has money to burn but just cant stand smoke!

That Portless Phone Tho…

First “they” took the optical drive out of my laptop, Then “they” took my headphone jack AND now “they” wanna give me a phone that has ZERO ports!!! That’s right you read that correctly; ZERO as in nada, zip, not EVEN one! Who do we have to thank for this groundbreaking technology? Who would be so bold as to give us such an amazing feat of advanced progress? Is it my boy #JohnLegere ? Is Blackberry jumping back into the game? NOPE its none other than #Meizu !!! OH YES MEIZU!!! A company thats only been around since 2003 While most of us were to busy trying to avoid #Sars as we walked around mindlessly listening to our #Ipods YES 2003 the year that gave birth to the rapper #BhadBhabie shall live in infamy thanks to MEIZU! After all its easy to be an #applefanboy & How hard is it to scream: “I LOVE MY SAMSUNG?” or maybe Pray that one day #Microsoft makes a phone you will wanna HOLD onto? But MEIZU is taking us to the next level as they are interactive with their fanbase via social media like a page straight outta the John Legere handbook, and with backing from #ALIBABA they are sure to crash here on our shores faster than you can say “Can you hear me now” Did I for get to mention the name of this newfangled phone? Its Called “The Zero” Oh yes its free of all those intrusive contraptions like a Sim Card Slot, a speaker grill & a charging port BUT wait there’s more!! Hold on to your digital wallets it has NO BUTTONS!!! NO BUTTONS!!! whatever will become of your precious muscle memory??? will retraining be needed? a renewal of that gym membership you stopped using one week in to January? Your hands will lean to cope Your eyes will learn to see and your brain will probably reboot if Meizu has anything to do with it. I for one cant wait!

#TeamCheadle

The world is filled with questionable decisions often made by people whom are typically just in to big a hurry to give their actions even a half hazard 2nd thought before it’s too late. Not so sure this is the case with #KathyGriffin After all when one waits 18 long months to pick a fight over a battle you already lost, the general consensus is “hey look at the sore loser still steaming” But wait there’s more!!! Old Don unequivocally DENIED their friendship altogether! That tweet alone was worth the price of admission! Kathy never one to catch a clue no matter how big a catchers mitt they give her manages insult Dons #Liberalcred by alleging him to be an outright phony? The phrase “unmitigated gall” comes to mind. I think perhaps its time Kathy stopped trying so hard to be the bull in the china shop and maybe just sit this one out.

Speaking of having a seat; How does a guy with a net worth of somewhere around 2.5 million (wikiworth 2016) end up so broke he cant write a couple of checks totaling 13K? Yes i’m referring to Chris “Why dont you have a seat over there” Hansen!!! I mean if you’re gonna go ahead and order enough t-shirts, decals & mugs to hide enough cocaine in to make even #elchapo smile; wouldn’t it behoove you to be be sure you could at least pay for them? Has #ChrisHansen not heard of #vistaprint for the love of GOD? 13K for tshirts/mugs AND decals??? Either Chris has more friends than Tom from MySpace ever dreamed of having OR those are some pretty damn big t-shirts that have God know what printed on em? Bible verses one thru eighty-three? Every predator that ever got away from him? I don’t know what kind of time behind bars one gets in the Great State of Connecticut for bouncing checks, but here’s hoping he doesn’t try to bounce his way outta the courthouse like one of his many previous costars.

The Sky Has Yet To Fall

It has come to my attention that an “egg” is the most liked photo on Instagram. I repeat an EGG! Just when I thought a nation under siege via twitter storms and reality TV denouements to say nothing of the faux outrage over the latest non-binary battles; I find myself faced with an EGG! One has to wonder was the former number one photo crown bearer a vegetarian? Is this a sinister plot from the USDA? Could The EGG in all its “raw” beauty actually be what 35 million plus people worldwide have given their undivided attention to if only long enough to double tap? I know, I know the skeptic in you can’t stop scoffing at the mere fact thirty-five million is nothing when one considers that it could be that damn near the whole state of CA (yeah yeah stat freaks I know the CA pop is 39.5million) woke up one morning and decided it would be much easier to click like (heart?) rather than start another yet another getKylieouttaherechange.org petition OR maybe just maybe the “world” as we know it isn’t ready to be hit by that asteroid( https://www.express.co.uk/news/science/1070348/Nasa-asteroid-warning-asteroid-2019-ax2-earth-close-approach) and we can all breathe a lil easier because despite the naysaysers who would have you believe that somehow the only thing that matters is how long we have to stand in line JUST to catch a freaking flight, or that we are the laughing stock of the universe when POTUS or a whining celebrity manages to have a meltdown via social media that our tiny lil intertwined lives will be crushed neath the sadness and banal cries of ALL those who have yet to see the forest, nor the damn trees or what ever it was people were afraid of circa 1546 (apologies to John Heywood)