The Billion Dollar Question?

Kylie, Kylie Kylie. It seems everyone is up in arms over her success. The California kid who magically showed up around 1997 thanks to Bruce Jenner and his wife at the time Kris! She more or less grew up in front of us via Cable TV and eventually wound up home schooled for bit; but no cares about that! Lets fast forward to 2013 when she designed/created or somehow gave us some soon to be famous lipstick? Nail Poilish? sandpaper? who the hell knows ? Whats important is in the year of our Lord 2015 we found ourselves graced with: Her first scandal: “PlumperGate” or “Lipgate” soon to be followed by a cosmetics line of her VERY OWN: #KylieCosmetics That’s right: HER line of cosmetics is just that: hers dammit. While you haters sit around pontificating her earned/unearned meteoric rise to the top of the charts; #bloomberg, #forbes, has bestowed upon her a title that just like her line of cosmetics is uniquely hers!!! Forbes, a magazine thats been around for what? 102 YEARS is prob not in the habit of throwing titles around like horseshoes at your uncles lame attempt at a backyard shindig. Bloomberg Magazine, a publication that managed to outlive everyone except for #BettyWhite is also not going around throwing shade nor meaningless accolades for fun and profit I can assure you. Oh sure you can stand there with your manbun piled high or your faux #coach bag slung over your shoulder and be as judgy as you want, but DEEP down inside you know i’m right, YOU know that Kylie is self made and self aware and the queen of self promoting! It baffles me that these individuals screaming Kylie is sooo NOT worthy. Its a laughable notion that somehow in between snapping selfies on their thousand dollar iphones in raggedy gas station bathrooms they find time to enlighten us with their sad attempts at economic theory. Fact: Kylie is first and foremost a business woman. Fact: Kylie is a extremely successful business woman. Fact: Kylie is a single mom(single mom meaning unmarried for purposes of this blog) So lets review: Kylie clearly had a plan; a plan she clearly put in motion at an early age and that plan came to fruition with spectacular results. Sadly haters don’t care about any of that. Haters don’t have time for factoids. Haters can’t be bothered with reality. Kylie isn’t the first female Billionaire but she is the youngest self made one. The work that went on behind the scenes for her is hidden for a reason and thats prob for the best but that doesn’t make the work any less viable or as the kids like to say “legit”. Starting a business is never easy, sustaining a business is a never ending process of reinvention and self preservation. The whining and sniveling perpetrated by those who refuse to give credit where credit is due could and should be replaced with some good old fashioned hard work. While not everyone has great ideas nor anyway to implement them; tearing someone down because they did something you cant fathom, seems pointless. So instead of sitting round this week trying to figure out who the hell is singing behind one of those God awful furries inspired masks; send a tweet to myinvention.com or sketch out that car design that will make Elon Musk rethink that whole get us to the mars thing. Get off your ass and do something to make the world pay attn to you for once!

One Mans Wall

There is an old Chinese proverb that says: “There are always ears on the other side of the wall” For future employees of McDonalds this will hold true more than they would like. It appears POTUS isn’t the only pro wall business minded individual hanging around. McDonalds has decided in their infinite wisdom to place a wall (barrier?) (steel slat style?) in between the kitchen area and the cashiers. This wall is of course only one part of their remodeling efforts to appeal to a more upscale clientele. Because a mass produced faux chicken nugget is clearly on the must have list of every high income earner ever? The best part of this brick by brick debacle is the franchise owners are claiming this wont help customer service!!! Because when I think of Nordstroms McDonalds somehow customer service is the first thing that comes to mind. Their other anti-wall argument is something tantamount to a “one size fits all” approach for remodels isn’t viable? This from a company that has no qualms about the infamous order by number spiel because a la carte is too much work? If one size doesn’t fit all via marketing brand/recognition some one needs to tell Honda because last I checked every dealership from here to mars looks identical from every vantage point whether you are in a Prius or traveling via Space X! THIS is because they want YOU to be able to pick out their store with a level of comfort AND ease…to say nothing of the poor badgers in upper management who will make frequent visits and NOT have to break out a GPS to figure where the fry cook station is or even feel that dreaded sense of discombobulation that could easily arise from entering a unfamiliar surrounding. So I say build the wall let upper management and every blue hair grandma from here to poughkeepsie walk in to the golden arches with a sense of relief, a sense of familiarity and marvel at the modern and ever changing walls that surround them! This wall shall be bigly & beautiful if corporate has anything to say about it and it should be! Why do you think on every American made dollar neath E. Pluribis Unum it clearly states “Bigger is Better”! Truth Justice & build that damn thing is the American way! If I don’t have to stare at the kitchen while awaiting my newly crafted Artisan Chicken sandwich I’m fine with it!


That Portless Phone Tho…

First “they” took the optical drive out of my laptop, Then “they” took my headphone jack AND now “they” wanna give me a phone that has ZERO ports!!! That’s right you read that correctly; ZERO as in nada, zip, not EVEN one! Who do we have to thank for this groundbreaking technology? Who would be so bold as to give us such an amazing feat of advanced progress? Is it my boy #JohnLegere ? Is Blackberry jumping back into the game? NOPE its none other than #Meizu !!! OH YES MEIZU!!! A company thats only been around since 2003 While most of us were to busy trying to avoid #Sars as we walked around mindlessly listening to our #Ipods YES 2003 the year that gave birth to the rapper #BhadBhabie shall live in infamy thanks to MEIZU! After all its easy to be an #applefanboy & How hard is it to scream: “I LOVE MY SAMSUNG?” or maybe Pray that one day #Microsoft makes a phone you will wanna HOLD onto? But MEIZU is taking us to the next level as they are interactive with their fanbase via social media like a page straight outta the John Legere handbook, and with backing from #ALIBABA they are sure to crash here on our shores faster than you can say “Can you hear me now” Did I for get to mention the name of this newfangled phone? Its Called “The Zero” Oh yes its free of all those intrusive contraptions like a Sim Card Slot, a speaker grill & a charging port BUT wait there’s more!! Hold on to your digital wallets it has NO BUTTONS!!! NO BUTTONS!!! whatever will become of your precious muscle memory??? will retraining be needed? a renewal of that gym membership you stopped using one week in to January? Your hands will lean to cope Your eyes will learn to see and your brain will probably reboot if Meizu has anything to do with it. I for one cant wait!