Three Hours…

There are many many things one can accomplish in a mere three hours if one so chooses to do so. One could very easily drive from the Great Sate of MD ALL the way to scenic NJ One could take the same three hours trying to commute home from Washington DC to a sleepy surburb a mere ten miles away thanks to that not quite right outdated beltway! OR one could choose to spend it quietly in a local library catching up on some much needed reading. Sadly it appears millions of us spent three grueling hours collectively watching some guy who some other guy (ok maybe there a cple of individuals who think it) claims to be the G.O.A.T. try in vain to score ONE I repeat ONE touchdown I don’t know about YOU but I expect more from my G.O.A.T.s Cut him some slack they’ll say he’s not a kid anymore, don’t sleep on the RAMS they’ll say they fended him off nicely… I’ve got two words for you: THREE HOURS!!! You know what I don’t have??? THREE HOURS of my LIFE back! For all the hype of the young buck/old dog for all the screaming they are gonna catch up to the #Steelers with ease all I got was lame commercials, a bizarre halftime show (that had not ONE but TWO petitions in circulation: one to scrap the bland appearance of #thevoice guy with only 115,000 signatures & the other to get same bland guy to play song from spongebob? One Million plus signatures!!!)If that doesn’t tell ya where poor #Kap stands (no pun intended) then you aren’t paying enough attn:( also a profound sense of loss of that’s right you guessed it THREE HOURS! Who knew the guy from #TheVoice could sing? Why kill off knight in shining armor? Why not scream out #ReaganReagan for a play? What I do know is Mr. Pearly Whites and his Top Model Wife are sitting in #Disneyland laughing at those of us who are gullible enough to wait in line for THREE HOURS just for a two minute ride…if only THAT game coulda been just as short…

One Mans Wall

There is an old Chinese proverb that says: “There are always ears on the other side of the wall” For future employees of McDonalds this will hold true more than they would like. It appears POTUS isn’t the only pro wall business minded individual hanging around. McDonalds has decided in their infinite wisdom to place a wall (barrier?) (steel slat style?) in between the kitchen area and the cashiers. This wall is of course only one part of their remodeling efforts to appeal to a more upscale clientele. Because a mass produced faux chicken nugget is clearly on the must have list of every high income earner ever? The best part of this brick by brick debacle is the franchise owners are claiming this wont help customer service!!! Because when I think of Nordstroms McDonalds somehow customer service is the first thing that comes to mind. Their other anti-wall argument is something tantamount to a “one size fits all” approach for remodels isn’t viable? This from a company that has no qualms about the infamous order by number spiel because a la carte is too much work? If one size doesn’t fit all via marketing brand/recognition some one needs to tell Honda because last I checked every dealership from here to mars looks identical from every vantage point whether you are in a Prius or traveling via Space X! THIS is because they want YOU to be able to pick out their store with a level of comfort AND ease…to say nothing of the poor badgers in upper management who will make frequent visits and NOT have to break out a GPS to figure where the fry cook station is or even feel that dreaded sense of discombobulation that could easily arise from entering a unfamiliar surrounding. So I say build the wall let upper management and every blue hair grandma from here to poughkeepsie walk in to the golden arches with a sense of relief, a sense of familiarity and marvel at the modern and ever changing walls that surround them! This wall shall be bigly & beautiful if corporate has anything to say about it and it should be! Why do you think on every American made dollar neath E. Pluribis Unum it clearly states “Bigger is Better”! Truth Justice & build that damn thing is the American way! If I don’t have to stare at the kitchen while awaiting my newly crafted Artisan Chicken sandwich I’m fine with it!


The Sky Has Yet To Fall

It has come to my attention that an “egg” is the most liked photo on Instagram. I repeat an EGG! Just when I thought a nation under siege via twitter storms and reality TV denouements to say nothing of the faux outrage over the latest non-binary battles; I find myself faced with an EGG! One has to wonder was the former number one photo crown bearer a vegetarian? Is this a sinister plot from the USDA? Could The EGG in all its “raw” beauty actually be what 35 million plus people worldwide have given their undivided attention to if only long enough to double tap? I know, I know the skeptic in you can’t stop scoffing at the mere fact thirty-five million is nothing when one considers that it could be that damn near the whole state of CA (yeah yeah stat freaks I know the CA pop is 39.5million) woke up one morning and decided it would be much easier to click like (heart?) rather than start another yet another getKylieouttaherechange.org petition OR maybe just maybe the “world” as we know it isn’t ready to be hit by that asteroid( https://www.express.co.uk/news/science/1070348/Nasa-asteroid-warning-asteroid-2019-ax2-earth-close-approach) and we can all breathe a lil easier because despite the naysaysers who would have you believe that somehow the only thing that matters is how long we have to stand in line JUST to catch a freaking flight, or that we are the laughing stock of the universe when POTUS or a whining celebrity manages to have a meltdown via social media that our tiny lil intertwined lives will be crushed neath the sadness and banal cries of ALL those who have yet to see the forest, nor the damn trees or what ever it was people were afraid of circa 1546 (apologies to John Heywood)